Time Travel

I am a big fan of the simple art of chopping wood. Some would say its a type of meditation. There is something very simple and honest about collecting and chopping your own pile of wood, ready to warm those cold hands or cook that perfect meal. I enjoy reading the grain of the wood, the rhythmic thwacking, the sweet sound your axe makes when you choreograph the perfect blow and finally the satisfaction of a job well done.

I tend to do about a hour or two at a time, slowly working my way through the task at hand. When the urge to chop hits me I normally put on a old pair of boots, a T shirt and some shorts. This helps stay nice and cool and anyway I am not a big fan of long pants and avoid it if at all possible.

One such day I was about 3/4 of the way through and Fiona popped in to visit. She knows to let me finish as I hate to stop until I am done. Plopping herself down on a stump she proceeded to tell me about her day ,all the twists and turns, ups and downs. It was at this moment, nearly on my last piece that a sizable chunk of wood flew of the chopping stump and hit me in the shin. As if laser guided hitting square and solid just millimeters above the top of my boot.

I instantly dropped to the floor, curled up into the fetal position clutching the affected limb. At this point I would like to mention that many people have debated if time travel is in fact possible. I think it may. Why? Because at this moment time stops, it transports you to a far away place, all one can think about is the white hot spear like pain that washes over you. You become totally present and focused. How did it happen? Reimagining the event frame by frame. I have entered the singularity.. or have I? Have I chipped the bone, it sure hurts more than when I broke my arm. Best I have a look. Oh gross…. it looks like a piece of bone, could it be? No don’t be silly it cant be. Nope its just a flap of fleshy skin with a bit of fat. Nothing some cleaning and a bit of tape cant fix, its all good. Now I end my time traveling experience and resume normal speed. As if coming to the surface the pain subsides to a bearable plateau, all I can hear is one thing.

Fiona is laughing, now when I say laughing I mean the kind of laughing that you only see in the movies or on a silly clip show. Laughing so hard that it seems that breathing is becoming a issue. Laughing so hard she is having to prop herself up. I have no choice but to join in, admittedly slowly at first. Looking back it must have looked very funny to watch this 6ft 5inch,110kg guy fall to the ground like a pile of dirty laundry. Especially since she probably saw it coming a mile off….Cheeky Monkey.

This refresher coarse reminded me of the following life lessons.

1. I cant do two things at the same time. Its a fact. Talking and chopping wood don’t mix.

2. I have the weakest most sensitive shins in the world. I must protect them when ever possible.

3. Even though it hurts something awful at the time, it will pass. Deal with it.

4. Any crash landing you walk away from is a good landing,(I could have barked myself with the axe, that would have been unpleasant to say the least.)

Have you ever hurt yourself in a silly way then laughed about it at the time or later, Have those experiences taught you anything?  If so please feel free to share your story. Thank you for dropping by. Dan